No Strings Attached-2011

The premise of this flick promised fun – two people who like to have sex and not be related in any other way. However what you get is a movie going through the motions  to its predictable end. Ashton Kutcher and Natalie meet in their youth- once at summer camp and another time at a funeral. Those are the first couple of scenes. We are then forwarded to the present where Ashton finds out that his ex is sleeping with his promiscuous dad. Therefore we are supposed to believe that the most rational thing to do in such a situation would be to have sex. In any case, Ashton drinks a lot and calls up every girl on his cell phone. Next morning he finds himself naked on a couch in the house of Natalie Portman. It is a beautiful world. But wait-get this…5 minutes later he is having sex with her. Yeah. I really hate this movie. Subsequently they come to a  sort of arrangement, the one I mentioned at the beginning of the para. After that, you know where this is going don’t you? They have sex, boy starts to have feelings…girl wants to just have sex so he leaves her…etc etc…girl then starts developing feelings, sees sister getting married, goes back to boy, sheds some tears, we have a big hugging scene in the end.

Oh, btw, Ashton Kutcher sucks. I don’t know how much the girls like him as eye candy, but as an actor who has been on the scene for quite some time now, he unquestionably, clearly, 100 percent, absolutely sucks. Natalie might be the only thing you like about this movie but due to straightforward Hollywood Morality, she abruptly changes character in the middle of the whole thing and becomes yet another teary eyed, emotionally insecure woman instead of the woman who knows what she wants. Whatever. I don’t suppose I should expect any sort of continuity from the writers of this predictable piece of dreck. The jokes are forced, Ashton’s sidekicks suck even more than him, and there seems to be a shortage of hot girls throughout the film. Fuck you, monkey writers, you couldn’t insert a couple of strippers in this piece of crap?

Rating- C